Morbidly Obese

Morbidly obese: that is what I want my soul to be.

Proverbs 13:4 The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing but the soul of the diligent is made fat.

The soul of the diligent is persistent, consistent and relentless in pursuit of what it craves. It looks for what satisfies from the One who satisfies. The diligent is rewarded, as we see, because their soul is fat - they have been richly fed from the Provider's table.

This reminds me of Jesus' interaction with the woman who was pleading to the LORD to have mercy on her daughter who was demon possessed. (Matt. 15: 21-28) This woman was a Canaanite. She cried out loudly (and kept on crying out loudly) for Jesus to have mercy. The disciples wanted to send her away because she was making such a ruckus. Jesus goes to her gently rebuking His disciples.

The woman bows low and makes her petition to Jesus. He says to her, "It is not good to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs." (v. 26)

This woman responds with such faith! She replies, "Yes, LORD; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their master's table."

Jesus praises her for her faith and grants her request.

The Canaanite woman was only asking for crumbs but received a 5 course meal. How did it come about that she received this? She asked and she kept on asking. People told her to be quiet, be less loud, to give up and to go away and yet she persisted. Jesus instructs us to act just like this woman.

Matthew 7:7,8 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds and to him who knocks it will be opened.

Too often we apply this verse as a means of getting the material things we want. But I believe it is spiritual. Jesus longs to give Himself to us. He longs to fill and to fatten our souls with Himself. He promises, if you will but ask Him, if you will seek Him, if you will knock on the door of heaven, it will be opened unto you. You will get what you ask for. You will get what you ask for and what you seek when what you ask for and what you seek is more of Him.

The other morning I had just gotten out of bed. It was early. I had set my alarm to get up for quiet time. As I was stumbling from bed to the coffee pot I said to God, "I really don't want to do this this morning. I really want to sleep."

In a flash Proverbs 13:4 popped into my mind. Then, just as quickly I "heard", 'You reap what you sow.' I began skipping to the coffee pot when another verse came to mind, one we had just studied in Bible study:

Philippians 3:8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my LORD for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish (read, 'poo') so that I may gain Christ.

That extra hour or two of sleep, poo. When compared to the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus, sleep looks as valuable to me a pile of poo. When I sow into my relationship with my LORD, I reap intimacy with Him. He speaks to me through His word. He comforts, He guides, He makes me laugh. He is my best Companion, Friend, Master.

Proverbs 6:10, 11 A little sleeping, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will overtake you like a thief in the night.

When I value sleep over knowing Christ my spirit suffers. It starves. When I sow, spiritually, into Christ the harvest is abundant. I eat and eat and eat and my soul grows fatter and fatter and fatter. My goal is that my soul will be so fat that there is no room left for the flesh, that my soul would be morbidly obese in regard to the flesh. (I'm speaking in spiritual terms). My aim is to be so consumed with "eating" from my LORD's table, filling my soul with His rich fare, that I give no regard at all for the cravings of the flesh (again, spiritually. Flesh here refers to my sin nature; my desire to do my own thing and have my own way apart from Him.)

Let me ask you, reader, are you hungry? Is your soul starving? Diligently seek the LORD. Ask of Him to feed you. I promise He will not let you go hungry. You will reap what you sow.

Blogging on blogging

Long time no blog.

I've mentioned before that I have mixed feelings about blogs. Everyone seems to have them. The reasons folks have them is probably as varied as the individual themselves. I have been truly blessed by the blogs my friends keep. I love hearing about the maturation of their babies. I love seeing and enjoying my friends' senses of humor and I especially love to see the power and love of God flowing in and through them.

I have struggled internally for awhile about what I should do with my blog. I have as much mama pride as the next mom but felt like the mama bragging I want to do is, well, bragging. After all, my child is truly exceptional and overwhelmingly adorable ;) (Please read with humorous, sarcastic tone.)

But recently I've really been seeking the LORD's will in my life. Specifically, I prayed this prayer, "LORD, what should I do with my time, my energy, and all my resources (mental, emotional, and physical)? He hasn't given me His answer in entirety but He has told me where to start.

I am to pour out what He has poured in. It might be helpful if you read 2 Kings 4:1-6.

A poor widow was instructed by Elisha to collect as many empty vessels from her neighbors as possible and pour her oil into them. Her little bit of oil flowed and flowed until all the vessels she had collected were full. (Empty jars represent people, oil represents the Holy Spirit.) The fullness of God comes into our lives not by hoarding what He has given us (spiritually and materially) but rather by pouring it out. I can have all the quite times in the world and have the most wonderful times of filling from Him but Scripture, over and over is clear, we have been filled so that we may be poured out. As my pastor would say, "Blessed to be a blessing."

So, long story short, be on the lookout for more posts soon. I have a list of topics running right now. With God's power and help, through blogging, I hope to pour out into the emptiness what He has poured in and in so doing, greatly glorify Him.

Little Mister

Things are slowing returning to normal around our house. Jeremy went back to work today. It was kinda strange this morning with just me and William. We've been enjoying some good quality time with Jeremy.

Friday evening we took William to his first movie in a theatre. He loves to watch movies at home. I figured it would go really well or be a somewhat expensive experiment. On a side note, when did movie tickets go up to $9.75? Sheesh! We really splurged and got popcorn and a diet coke. William sat in his seat like a big boy and ate his popcorn. He was so funny to watch watching the movie. He got a little squirmy at the end but did really well.

I realized the other day that I haven't taken many pictures of him lately so I busted out the ole' Canon Rebel and shot a few pics:

Don't ask me why but William loves to squat down like this. This is a pretty classic William pose.

William loves this little bridge in front of the house. He also really loves sticks...and rocks. All boy.

Another thing William is really into right now is pillows. I have to confess he must have gotten this from me. I too love pillows! The more the better! This is actually from this morning. I had washed the sheets and was re-making the bed. William thought this was a fantastic opportunity to enjoy himself some pillows.

He's a silly boy but I love him.

Smack Down

Job 39

10 "Can you bind the wild ox in a furrow with ropes, Or will he harrow the valleys after you? 11 "Will you trust him because his strength is great and leave your labor to him? 12 "Will you have faith in him that he will return your grain and gather it from your threshing floor ?"

Can you imagine catching a wild ox, hooking it up to a yoke, telling it where to plow and then setting him loose to do what you told him to do? Or perhaps consulting with the ox as to which fields to plow and when? Or heck, just letting the ox make that decision for himself?

Job 38 through 40 are some of my favorite chapters in the entire Bible. God reveals the wisdom of man for what it really is: foolishness and His wisdom for what it is: perfect and complete. Chapter 38 begins with God booming out of a whirlwind: "Who is this who darkens counsel with words without knowledge?" I get giddy just reading that verse. I love a good smack down! Unless, of course, I'm the one being smacked down.

Upon reflection of those passages I was convicted and have to say, "Me LORD. I confess. It was me." How many times have I presumed to know or understand the ways of the LORD. How many times have I been as foolish as Bildad, Eliphaz and Zophar offering foolish advice to myself and others? Or claiming some promise found in the Bible out of context? Or just making decisions on my own based on my own understanding.

While sitting in the waiting room on Thursday, waiting one hour, two hours, three hours and then four hours for the surgeon to come out and give his report on Jeremy, a lot of Scriptures came to my mind. One in particular was Jeremiah 29:11. That verse is a favorite of so many, myself included, but often it is misunderstood because it is not read in context.

"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you,not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'"

As I was sitting and waiting, God began to clarifying some things for me. God knows His plans. I do not know His plans. His biggest plan for our hope and future, of course, is Jesus Christ and the eternal salvation that is found only in Him. And truly, that is enough but we always want more, don't we? I do. We want to be comfortable. We want to be healthy. We want to feel secure. I want to know what is going to happen tomorrow and I worry and fret because I don't. We think we know what it means for us to prosper, to not be harmed. Sometimes, nothing could be further from the truth. Sometimes the very thing we think will destroy us is the best thing that could ever happen to us.

Here's a little conversation I had in my head with Him in the waiting room, "Now LORD, if you will just kindly tell me what the plan is I would appreciate it. If you would just tell me how this is all going to turn out I wouldn't be so worried right now. I could really trust in You if I knew Your plan." As my mother said in a book she wrote commenting on a similar situation in her own life, "LORD, if you would just tell me the plan then I could plan for Your plan."

And that, my friends, is exactly why I think He doesn't always reveal the details of the immediate future to us. He doesn't want us planning for the plan. (His big plan has been revealed and is available for your perusal. See Genesis 1:1 through Revelation 22:21. Spoiler alert: It ends really well for those who love Him and really bad for those who don't. But what I'm talking about here is the details of our day-to-day lives, i.e. "Is my husband going to make it out of surgery alive?") He wants us obedient in the moment. He wants us to depend on Him, to seek Him and to trust in Him moment-by-moment.

The verses that follows Jeremiah 29:11 are rarely quoted with it but they say, "Then you will call upon me and pray to Me and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by You, declares the LORD..."

God wants relationship with me, even me. He has all the heavenly realm bowing before Him, singing praises to Him, worshipping Him in truth for they see and know Him as he really is and yet, He wants me to know Him personally. He wants to reveal, not His plan, but Himself to me. God did not say through Jeremiah the prophet that when I sought God He would reveal His plan to me. He said He would reveal Himself to me. "You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you." That is awesome in the true sense of the word.

The appropriate response then is to seek Him for Him and not for the revelation of His plan. In my wisdom, I think knowing the plan would bring me comfort, peace, strength, etc. But that is wrong. Comfort, peace and strength come from knowing Him. Does an ox demand the Master to tell him which row He's going to plow next? No, he does not. Nor shall I. I shall continue putting one foot in front of the other until He tells me differently. He knows His plans and it is enough for me to continue to progressively come to know Him as I seek Him with my whole heart.

Bridal Plasty

Long time no blog. My apologies to the two people who follow this blog. In all honesty I've really struggled as to what to blog about. I have mixed feelings about blogs in general and so I've not posted anything. "What pushed you off the fence?", you may ask. Spirit Hunger. I'm attending a Bible study on Tuesday mornings at SBC (Second Baptist Church) with some great girlfriends. Gari Meachum is the author/speaker. I highly recommend it. If you have time on Tuesday mornings around 9:30 you should seriously stop by.

So, anywho, we have 5 days of homework per week ("home pleasure" as Gari would say). I was working on day 1 for week 2 yesterday and just thought I would share some thoughts on what God is teaching me (mainly for my own clarification.)

We were to reflect on Colossians 3:1-17. The topic of the week is "numbing", i.e. desensitizing areas of spiritual/emotional hunger. Using food, alcohol, men, shopping, control, etc. to cope with a deeper hunger that is not being fulfilled.

As I was reading the Scripture I was gripped by verses 2 through 4:

"Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory."

God spoke straight into my heart, "You have died. Your life is hidden with Christ in God."

I pictured myself being buried (hidden) and then being resurrected. Not resurrected in my body but resurrected through the body of Christ. I am not raised up as myself, I am raised up in Christ! I live through Him. He is my identity and I am hidden in Him. All I do, all I say is through Him, for Him, by Him. I have no identity of my own. I am Christ's and wholly His.

Now I know, this culture rebels against the idea of belonging to anyone else, obeying anyone besides self or gaining our identity by or through anything other than our own achievement. But let me ask you, how's that working out for you?

We want to be recognized. We want to be affirmed. We want to be acknowledged for our work. We want someone to tell us they know all that we're doing and appreciate it. Who do you think put that desire in your heart? I'll tell you who. The same One who is the only One who can fully satisfy those desires. And recognition will come... at the right time.

"When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory."

We will be revealed with Christ! Can you even imagine? When Christ comes in all His glory the entire world will see we are with Him and we will have glory that He gives us. Glory from Jesus! Tell me, is there a higher place of praise? Is there anyone who could give you glory that even comes close to the glory of Jesus. No, my friend. There is not. His glory is worth waiting for!

Verse 5 says, "Therefore, consider the members of your earthly body as dead to impurity, passion, evil desire and greed."

Our earthly bodies have died and are buried. And yet, how many times are we trying to resurrect the dead? It reminds me of the movie Weekend at Bernie's. Those two guys are lugging poor, dead Bernie around all weekend because they want the benefits the privilege of being his guest provides (use of home, pool, beach-front property, status, etc.) They are pretending what is dead is alive because they think the dead has benefits. When these desires sprout up in us: impurity, passion, evil desire and greed, we have to remind ourselves that the part of us that took part in those things is dead and buried. We need to leave them in the grave.

v. 7 says, "in them you once walked..." We walked "in" those things - like stepping into full length gown or an overcoat, we were all up in those things! However, the part of us that participated in them, once we profess Jesus as our LORD and Savior, is dead and buried.

v. 8 "But now you also put them all aside..." We take these things off and lay them aside like last year's fashions - they are not worth being seen in.

v. 9 "Do not lie to each other since you laid aside the old self..." You know a friend is a true friend when they tell you an outfit just isn't working or that your new haircut isn't all that cute. True friends don't let friends walk around carrying the dead. Here's a conversation from my head: "Girl, that bitterness is so last year! You know Beth Moore wouldn't be caught dead wearing that. Why don't we try on some forgiveness? Wow! That is really flattering on you!"

v. 10 "...and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him (her)."

OK, stick with me here. Are you familiar with the cable show, Bridal Plasty? It's a profane show where all these brides compete to win plastic surgery so they will be "perfect" on their wedding day. This show is wrong on so many levels but ironically, it is a really crude example of sanctification. We are the Bride of Christ. Each day we breathe is a preparation day for THE wedding day. We are readying ourselves for Him, on the inside. The difference between TV and reality is that He has already done all the work and paid all the cost - we just have to allow the scalpel of the Holy Spirit to cut away all that has already died (bitterness, envy, immorality, impurity, evil desire, etc). In Him, we are all winners! He is perfecting us from the inside out but we have to cooperate with His work. Unfortunately, we more often resemble the bride of Frankenstein than the Bride of Christ. We carry around deadness we just can't seem to let go of. Though the old is gone and the new is come we cling to the old, we tie it around our neck like a scarf, we carry it on our arm like a Coach bag (we accessorize with it, right Gari? ;-) because it is what we know. We cling to it because it is what we have used to get by for so long; the bitterness, the sarcasm (ouch!), the anger, the controlling, the numbing - they've been what we've used to get through some pretty tough stuff. Granted, we never made it through unscathed. We've got some pretty ugly scars. These "accessories" often brought more pain than they prevented but they are what we know.

That's why I love verse 10! "We are being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created her."

We are being renewed to a true knowledge! The old adage: "What she doesn't know won't kill her" couldn't be more wrong. Girlfriend, what you don't know is killing you! But Christ is renewing us to a true knowledge. Back to verse 2, "Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth." There is a way of living that is truly living! (see vv 12-17) Life is hard. Our tendency is to run and hide. God knew this about us and created the safest, holiest place ever for us to run into: Himself!

v. 3 For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

If you're going to hide (and we all do), hide in Him! And when you do you will find that you are truly living!

John 14:6, Jesus said, "I am the way, and the truth and the life" (the true and living way!)"no one comes to the Father but through Me."

With a cluck cluck here and cluck cluck there...

William and I got to go to Dewberry Farms today along with some awesome ladies and their children from our church. I think, in Texas at least, October should be renamed Augtober. Seriously, it was HOT! Who knew? Besides having fun with William and our friends, I had another motive for going to Dewberry Farms - get a cute picture of William with pumpkins. I naively believed this would be no problem. William is usually so smiley, especially when you pull out a camera. Here are the best photos I was able to get.

We had just arrived and were standing in line to take a tractor ride out to the pumpkin patch.

William is playing with one of his favorite things: rocks. I constantly find rocks all over the house. He's easy to entertain, I'll give him that.

First prime photo opportunity: the "pumpkin patch." Really, this was just a plot of ground that they threw little pumpkins on. Here's how the dialogue went "William, look at Mama! William! Look at Mama! William! Look! at! Mama!" Did he look? Oh no. No he didn't.

So we moved on to the "petting zoo." It was a zoo but there was no petting. William loved the animals anyway.

He is trying to crawl into the pond to get to the ducks. "Duck", by the way, was William's first official word after "Dada."

Goats. Loved the goats. He wasn't the slightest bit afraid.

I love his left hand in this photo. "Whoa! A pig!"

William loved the horse. He was actually beating on this gate trying to get in.

And this led to the second, primo photo opportunity. I mean, this shot had it all, hay, barn, windmill, pumpkins, water, a willow tree, a beautiful sky. What more could I want? A kid that would smile would be nice...

This is the best shot I got. Seriously, the best one.

"Oh, a pumpkin.", he says to himself as I beg him to "Look at Mama!"

William loves the camera. He knows that little pictures show up on the back and that there are a lot of buttons to push. Here he is politely asking to see the camera.

Here, he is asking not so politely to see the camera.

Next, we moved on to a play area. William loves to play, especially if the play things have wheels.

After this our little group decided it would be a good time to cool off and have some lunch. We sat at little tables with umbrellas. After sitting down I decided I really didn't have the energy to go look at another thing so William and I hung out on a cool porch while the group took the kids off to explore some more.

The porch was great. It caught a little breeze and William loved walking up and down it.

Now he smiles...oh well. We had a great time with great friends. I would definitely go again however I think we'll wait until November to go next year.

Happy Birthday, William!

On Saturday we celebrated William's first birthday with family. My baby is growing up too quickly. Wasn't it just a couple months ago we brought him home from the hospital? I'm no Einstein but I really believe the older one gets the faster time moves.

Here's our little man posing on his birthday. He was all dressed up for a Pray and Playdate. This is an awesome group one of my friends started. Moms and kids gather once a month. The kids play while the moms pray for their kids. We both really enjoy it. Our friend Gillian made William some cupcakes and we all sang Happy Birthday to him. He loved the attention.

The next day we had a family party at our house. William enjoying his birthday dinner. We had pizza, his favorite.

And cupcakes. He loved the icing! What kid doesn't? Heck, I love icing. I love it so much we had three different kinds, chocolate, cream cheese and caramel and I tried them all!

Family pic...

After cupcakes the kids got to hit on a pinata. William was not too sure about it. He did enjoy watching the bigger kids take a whack but was freaked out when the pinata actually broke and the kids made a dash for the candy. To be honest, they were like a pack of hyenas chasing a lame gazelle. Who knew the power of candy?

And then the presents! Oh my, the presents! It was like Christmas morning. He got toys and clothes, a tent and a rocker. Here's a snapshot of the haul.

All in all, a very good day. It was great to have all the family together but to be honest, I hope the second birthday doesn't arrive as fast as the first.